Prevent Living In An ILLUSION This Year (Consider doing THIS)

New year's resolutions, clean slates, new beginnings. If done wrong, you could be living inside an illusion the rest of the year.

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So, it is 2021. A new year, and for many people the time to write new chapters and close old ones. The beginning of a new year is very popular to do so. We make new year's resolutions every year, but of course we can start new chapters at any given time. We don't need to wait for the new year to begin, but for many people it has some kind of psychological benefit. But when I think of new year resolutions, 1 question immediately comes into mind: Why wait? The more we wait, the more time without action taken passes by! When a new chapter needs to be written, just start writing! So what I mean by this, is simply to minimize the "waiting" and to start maximizing "action". Action is what's causing change. Of course, things will also change when you're waiting, but I doubt it that it's for the better. 

Start from the inside

Speaking of taking action, many of us plan to take external action FIRST at the beginning of a new year. We might want to move to another place, end or start certain relationships, switch jobs, or whatever it may be in order to improve life's quality. Of course, for some people that might be helpful to a certain degree, but have you ever thought of making changes internally before you decide to make changes externally? You might think now "Of course! I first thought about everything and I'm sure that this is what I want!" But did you really? Did you really dive that deep into yourself? Did you try to see it from different angles? When you made the choice, were there no emotions involved which could have been of influence? The reason I say this, is that there are people who make choices impulsively. People who make choices based on certain fears. People who'd rather run away than confront and therefore take external action very quickly. But sometimes a different perception, a view from another angle or changing our way of thinking can already make the changes we were looking for all along.

Usually we want to change something because there’s something bothering us and sometimes an external change actually doesn’t change anything WITHIN us. That’s why I think it’s good to work from the inside out. We need to find the source of the things that are bothering us, so we can address and resolve those. If we work the other way around, chances are you are simply taking the things which are bothering you, with you. Let's say you decided to move to another city, or even to another country, to run away from certain problems, believing in the illusion you're going to get a fresh start. Chances are that the same things will happen again because you haven't changed internally. In this case people tend to believe that they are cursed with “bad luck”, or having the belief that people don’t want them to be successful or to feel good, while it’s actually an unaddressed and unresolved internal issue which need to be dealt with first. 

Finding the root-cause from unresolved internal issues

What is the source of your unhappiness? Of your dissatisfaction. Why aren’t you content? Are your current beliefs still serving you, or are they limiting you? What or who is really holding you back from expressing yourself fully? What is the source of your anxiety? Are your judgements or misperceptions about the world or yourself holding you back from living the life you desire? Which road blocks are you constantly encountering? Are you still able to appreciate what you have? All questions you can ask yourself to help you find the root-cause from unresolved internal issues. 

Before you decide to start a complete new chapter on your journey of life, it’s important to properly close the previous one. This is impossible when we run away from our problems. I understand the idea of a “reset”, but it’s important that when we want to reset ourselves we are still able to acknowledge that a reset does not suddenly “delete” all of our problems. Many of us want to start the new year with a clean slate, but therefore we need to work from within. Like that you can set a clear course and even change your life. Maybe even the life of others. 

Perhaps the relationship you initially wanted to end, can blossom again. Perhaps you felt that your relationship was not fulfilling because you found that you couldn't love yourself. You first wanted to introduce an external change by ending that relationship or even by moving, but you have now been able to prevent that because you have done your inner work.

Maybe your job didn’t fulfil you at first, but after your inner work you started looking at things differently. Perhaps you wanted to switch career paths in order to earn more money, because you believed that’s what you needed to experience more happiness. After reflecting on what happiness really means to you, you discovered that it’s not in money, and you decided to stay where you are. Once again, no external change was needed to be implemented. 

Of course, this can also work the other way around. Maybe after examining what happiness really means to you, you feel that you NEED to quit your job and generate an income another way. Either way, the place to start the REAL change, is inside, getting to know the source. Perhaps you even discover things about yourself you haven’t discovered before.

External changes as a result of internal changes

I believe this is the right sequence and this is the way I want to proceed this year myself. Before making any external changes, we first should get clarity and think things through as objectively as possible. When emotions take over it can drastically influence the decisions we're making, and it can result in not taking the decision we truly want to make. Therefore, I'd like to invite you to start 2021 from within, and work from there. 

Review and examine your new year resolutions. See if they are what you're truly after this year, and act accordingly. Take action, first internally, and if necessary externally. This year, avoid living in an illusion where you think you have made the right choices while not addressing the underlying problems. I wish you all the best. Let's grow together this year. Mentally, physically and spiritually. 

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