Being OKAY With Being DISLIKED

It's simply the reality that you can't be liked by everyone, and you know what? That's totally fine! It's  impossible anyway. I used to think it was important to be liked by certain people or certain groups. I valued having a certain status. However, as I have traveled further through life, it has become less and less important to me. It simply is what it is. 

There will always be people who don't like you or accept you. There will always be people who judge you, or have a prejudice about you. Your whole life, there will always be people who have something to say! This is unavoidable, and you should not even try to avoid it. Instead, just accept it. Let them talk and realize that you don’t need to be liked by others. Accept yourself for who you are. There’s nothing more beautiful than to be just YOU, and I know that can be difficult. So many of us are struggling every single day with just being who they are, but only then everything will eventually fall into place. Life shouldn't be lived any other way. Life is too precious and too valuable. YOU are too valuable to pretend you're someone you are not. Believe me, there will always be someone who has something to say and who doesn't like you or doesn't like the things you do. It doesn't matter how much goodness you have inside you, how kind you are or whatever it may be - it will happen anyway. That's why I like to invite you to do something. Instead of focusing on the discomfort not being liked brings into your life, try seeing it from a different perspective. 

Being disliked can be very valuable

Sometimes, being disliked can be of great value. When someone criticizes you, or lets you know that he or she doesn't like you for whatever reason it may be, you can just simply take it into consideration. I think it is important that we remain open to the fact that someone possibly has a good reason not to like you. If you can make it debatable then it might be worth to reflect upon it, and to even make certain changes to your attitude or behavior based on the outcome. Like that, growth is taking place. But you are definitely not supposed to change yourself just for the sake to be liked or to be approved by one another. 

You can’t please everyone, and not everyone is able to please you. Simply this realization is very powerful to not being bothered by someone disliking you. I don't believe that life is meant to be lived as a people pleaser. 

Also, the fact that you don't like everything and everyone either is a solution upon itself. As YOU want to have the freedom to dislike or disagree with certain things, you should also provide OTHERS the same freedom. 

A very limited way of thinking

I used to get angry. Angry and upset when people were criticizing me, not agreeing with me and not liking me. How is it possible that not everyone likes me? Not liking what I’m doing, saying, producing or just not liking the way I am. But when I started to reflect upon those situations, I came to a few realizations: I don’t like everyone and everything either. I disagree with a lot of things as well, and I even have judged people without getting to know them first. I even made the terrible mistake believing certain people were less than me. 

You see, my way of thinking was very limited. We’re all human beings and equals. Therefore, we should allow each other the freedom of disagreeing with one another, release ourselves of all sorts of judgements and prejudices, and get rid of the need to be liked by everyone. It is beyond our control span anyway. We have no direct control over how anyone feels about us, and we don’t need it either.  

Self-acceptance

I think the inability to truly accept ourselves might be playing a role in our need to be approved and liked by others. How I see it, is that most of us just want 3 things: 

1. To be accepted 
2. To be appreciated
3. To be approved. 

Being disapproved and unliked gives us a feeling of discomfort, but why? Have you ever tried to find out what the source of this feeling of discomfort may be? I think that source is something that needs to be addressed, and it probably has something to do with the degree to which we accept ourselves. 

When you have fully accepted yourself, you experience the freedom to be EXACTLY who you are, and you realize that you don't need the approval from others. Your life will take a completely different turn when you stop valuing what others think about you. I also talked about this in another video. I don't remember exactly which one, but it can be found in the Maximize Your Life playlist for sure. 

It is more important how you see yourself than how others see you. As long as you know you are respectful, open to expanding your horizons and giving others the freedom to be themselves as you want the freedom to be yourself, it's all good, right? You don’t need to like everything and everyone, and vice versa. Those who truly love you will support you, no matter what. Those who don't, are unworthy changing for anyway.

Why this message is important

I think this message is of utmost high importance in the era we are living in, and I think especially for the youth. These days it seems that it’s all about the likes and followers. There are so many out there that attach a greater value to their digital status than their physical life. So this message is not only meant for the people who are experiencing disapproval or being disliked in the physical life, but also for those who are experiencing that in their digital lives. 

For some, social media is a great experience, but there are also many people for which it is a devastating experience and I hope that the message in this video can be of any value for the ones having that devastating experience. Remember 1 thing: when you have haters, you’re actually doing something right. When you attach too much value on other people’s opinions, it’ll make you only miserable. Haters gonna hate anyway. Just be you. You’re worth it.

A few last words

Further, I want to say that this is the last blog post of this year. 2020 took a surprising turn, but I must admit that despite everything that happened, I experienced a huge amount of personal growth. Also, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for being a part of Maximize Your Life. I wish you a happy new year in advance and may all the good be on your side. Let’s grow together and make 2021 a year to never forget.  

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