Read This If You Struggle With Self Doubt

Are you having difficulties finishing what you started, or do you have even problems starting at all? You've set a few goals, but somehow you seem to be unable to achieve them. If you dive deep down your mind, chances are self-doubt is the thing holding you back.

No faith in one's self

I've been there... Excited to start something new, but finding myself quitting a few weeks later because simply, I did not have faith in myself. William Shakespeare once said: "Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt" and it's a beautiful quote in my opinion! Self-doubt really holds you back from maximizing your life, so let's get down to business and talk about how to overcome self-doubt!

Becoming aware

So the first tip I want to share with you, is to become aware of what you're actually saying to yourself and how you are saying it, because the way we talk to ourselves is responsible for many failures in our lives. The good thing however, is that we can turn this around, so it will be responsible for many successes in our lives! If you don't change the way you talk to yourself, you'll be simply unable to get one step closer to oovercome self-doubt. 

In order to make the necessary changes, you first need to actually be aware of your self-talk. Try to focus on it, so you will raise your awareness of how your inner conversations are going. Keep one very important thing in mind though: do not judge yourself or get angry at yourself during this process. Once you become aware of what you're really saying to yourself, it can get tough! Realize that you're working on it and get power from that thought. You're a human being you are a work in progress and trust me, nobody's perfect!

Implementing small changes 

Becoming aware of the content from those inner chats and how the dialogue is going are the first steps towards overcoming self-doubt. After you have become aware, start making some small changes. Probably most of the time your self-talk is negative, which is a part of making you doubting yourself. The more negative self-talk, the more evil your world will seem, because your perception of everything and everybody (including yourself) is highly influenced by the way you talk to yourself. Knowing this can enable you to start slowly replacing those negative thoughts with more positive thoughts, meaning you will change your internal conversations. Be aware though that this won't happen overnight! Baby steps, ladies and gentlemen. Rome also hasn't been built in a day. Slowly add more positive self-talk. Remember that you are the one in charge here. You are in control of your own life and your hands are on the wheel. You can steer in every direction direction you want. The kind of person you are, may have been determined originally by your childhood experiences, but the person you could be, is completely under your control. 

Stop letting your past control your present and future

If you want your past to stop hurting you right now, you have to forgive who or whatever it was that hurt you back then. this includes also yourself. I was angry at myself for so long for making wrong choices in the past, and this eventually turned into self-hatred. Self-hatred can be dangerous, so I want to emphasize the importance of forgiving and letting go of the past. Start looking differently to past events and try to turn them into lessons. We should not blame ourselves for our mistakes, but instead we should learn from them. Journaling can really help you to deal with this! Start writing down your feelings and dive into your thoughts to find out what is the source of those feelings. I bet you'll be surprised of the outcome and trust me, it gives a great feeling to put it all on paper. You literally get it off your chest and "write it off".

Stop comparing yourself to others 

This is such an important tip right here, especially in this time when social media is being used excessively. The grass has never been greener on the other side than today! Everybody shares their "perfect life" on Facebook, Instagram and God knows what other platforms. It's easier than ever for you to doubt yourself because of that! "I wish I had that car", or "He or she got a lot of money", or "I wish I had a body like that". These thoughts go on and on, but I want to tell you one thing: STOP it right there! The only person who you should compare yourself to is that beautiful person who you see in the mirror, instead of comparing yourself to others. Just look at yourself and set up a growth strategy to get a bit better than you were yesterday. Create a personal development plan! I will go into this in a future blog post, because a plan like that can be really life-changing! 

Stop worrying about what other people think of you 

Other people don't care that much about what you do or say! Worrying about this can really boost that self-doubt demon, and we need to kill that thing! You have to STOP feeding it with worries about what other other people may think or not think of you. Many times I was scared what people thought of me. This resulted in for example that I didn't want to record myself in public, or even work out in public because I felt ashamed and silly. Later I started to pay attention on the streets, and when I saw someone making a selfie or vlogging in public, I just "saw it" and moved on with my day, because it's nothing special! I might have thought for a second "What on earth is that person doing" and one second later I moved on! Same as for other people running or doing group exercises, or calisthenics - I just drive by and I see them and I move on. People are doing the same thing when they see you! If someone sees you doing something like taking a selfie, or recording yourself with your phone, or let's say you wear a purple jeans - Do you really think this person comes home from work, has dinner with his family and talk about the color of pants you wore? Trust me, no one cares. If you like it, just wear it! Be YOU! Stop worrying what other people think and you will do a lot better... 

A few other tips 

• Realize setbacks are temporary.

• Remember that you are not a failure because you failed (mistakes make you stronger!).

• Work on your skills so you get better in the things you do, so you will also get more confidence.

• Start exercising. Make this a part of your personal development plan. The mind and body should be always in balance and this also will boost your confidence.

• Reward yourself for small victories. This will also give you new and even more energy.

• Start practicing gratefulness. It'll make you realize the beauty in life, instead of the opposite.